Does your Instrument fight like a girl?

[theBadger]

Women are renown for being recalcitrant*. Ask Mrs Badger to do something and she'll do the exact opposite.

Musical instruments are similar in my opinion.

My piano, for example, will usually resist any attempt to play an F#m7, preferring to give me something which sounds a bit like an f#m7 but not close enough to fool anyone with ears.


I often feel like I am in a constant battle with my instrument to make the right notes come out, as if it is fighting back, like a teenage girl who doesn't want to tidy her room.


Tonight however, as I practiced for a forthcoming gig, the damn thing was 'up for it'. It produced notes that I didn't know I knew. It played jazz. Not the bad jazz that sounds like someone searching for the right note and failing, but notes that came from nowhere and yet still worked really well.


These notes just fell under my fingers and lay there waiting to be pressed.


And this is a very bad omen.


You see, quite often, if I have a bad rehearsal, making all sorts of mistakes, then the actual gig will go really well.

If I have a great rehearsal then it means that all the mistakes, cock ups and bum notes are just saving themselves for the live event. Like a sulky woman waiting to make you suffer when it hurts the most.


I had a fantastic practice. One of the best ever. This means that Friday's gig will probably be a total disaster.

tB.









* having an obstinately uncooperative attitude toward instruction, authority or discipline.

[theBadger]

* having an obstinately uncooperative attitude toward instruction, authority or discipline.

No I wasn't thinking about you when I wrote those words SW but you are correct in that it very much applies to this badger.


I see a "ROAD CLOSED" sign... It can't apply to me... It doesn't mean closed to me... It's probably just advisory... I'll ignore it and carry on regardless... I'll still be thinking it doesn't apply to me as I plunge into the gaping chasm and burst into flames...

Mrs Badger is the exact opposite. She'll say "We have to eat this breaded ham before 3:00 pm because its best before date is today and I bought it at 3:01 last thursday.' She once saw the instruction 'keep away from children' on a box of matches and it was a month before I could convince her to go near our kids.

I hate being told what to do. I especially hate being told what to do for 'my own good'.

Like when I've put all my clothes in the washing machine and pressed 'program H' whatever the f*ck that means... and the door locks... and then I find a whole bunch of other washing that would benefit from a bit of 'program H'...

...but I can't open the door because of the 'you can't open the door now' safety feature...

...'you've already selected program H and you can't open the door for at least an hour and a half'...

This makes me cross. Being told what I can and cant do with the door of my own washing machine...

...while I have pants that would love a bit of program H...

What I usually do is pull the washing machine away from the wall and unscrew the back panel... shove the pants in there... whilst saying "haha, you will wash these pants!"




Then. After I've mopped up all the water and opened all the windows to let out the smell of burnt wiring. I telephone round all the electrical stores to see if any of them can deliver and install a new washing machine before Mrs Badger gets back from her lunch with the girls.




I see a sign that says "Keep off the grass" - I instantly feel the urge to trample all over the grass.

I see a sign that says "Please drive carefully through our village" I don't care how politely it is phrased; I hit the accelerator pedal and scream through the village like I'm in a New York police chase scattering chickens and cardboard boxes in my wake.

I see a sign that says "High Voltage Electricity. Do not touch: Danger of death!" Well you know I'm not just gonna touch it... I'm gonna moisten myself with electrically conductive lubricant and dance provocatively around the damn thing before rubbing my entire body against the most dangerous looking component.

And on my gravestone it will say: "Here lies the badger. Recalcitrant."

With a small footnote explaining that recalcitrant means having an obstinately uncooperative attitude toward instruction, authority or discipline.

:grin:

[dope]

i have not gigged in so long. i cant fucking play any more.
i'm gonna have to start like completely over now..
its ridiculous.
i'm half tempted to sell all this shit and buy a jet ski.
who doesn't smile while there riding a jet ski.

fucking music.

[Audi01]

[Cheesy]

^^^ corrrr !!!


tuneful drummer ? i don't believe it !

[theBadger]

Did the gig...

It was an unmitigated DISASTER!

Not the gig. Just my bit.


A very talented pair of girls were on the bill after me and saved the performance. Everyone was so focused on them that they forgot just how badly I played.


I'm going to go and hide at the bottom of a very deep dark hole now. I may never attempt to play a musical instrument again. I might take up golf or knitting or underwater basket weaving.


Oh the shame, the embarrassment....


Bad badger. Talentless badger...


For Sale: Several keyboards, slightly scratched by sharp and incompetent claws.

tB. :glum:

[dope]

i'm sure it wasnt that bad....
still...
thanks for the reminder that i am not even close to being ready to playing live right now!

cheer up badge.. write a song about how much everything sucks!

[theBadger]

So what does one do when one has made a complete tit of oneself in front of a live audience?

Should I burn my keyboards?

Should I forget about it because, as Shadow suggests: "Shit happens"

Should I rise like a phoenix and do much better next time?


Your advice would be fondly welcomed. Right now I'm going with the dowse the keyboards in petrol and find some matches option.


How do you cope with a musical 'setback'?

tB.

[Audi01]

yeah let it go tB

practice makes perfect* chalk it up as learnings under the belt

more music! ! !

[moose]

True.. shit happens.

But making music is first and foremost a mental state. The body simply reacts to what the brain commands.

Most of those commands are conscious.. this finger here, that one there, etc. sometimes they are not.
Sometimes we simply let our subconscious knowledge (much superior) take lead and the magic happens.

The last thing you (or anyone playing an instrument) should do is to "fight" the instrument because when you do that in reality you are fighting yourself.

This is 1 thing I always say to my students. When you feel the anger growing inside because "something" is not happening, or that difficult passage won't work, simply put the instrument down and go for a walk or something.
You're fighting against yourself.

The best music happens when the player stops thinking and lets the inner self through and worrying about mistakes is your worst enemy.

Enough of that.
Go make some music. Let it be your music!!